Didn’t draw a deer tag? Maybe don’t have time to hunt? We’re here to help! The famous recipe on how to make beef taste like venison!
No. 1: Start by purchasing a steer approximately one year before cutting date.
No. 2: Feed the steer only wild berries, slough grass, weeds, sage and tree bark.
No. 3: About two hours before you are ready to butcher, have a friend chase the steer around to get the blood and adrenaline into the meat.
No. 4: Shoot the beef immediately after it has been chased — make sure it’s a gut shot, and do this via a hind quarter. A good shot will tenderize the meat and get as much hair as possible into the impact area.
No. 5: Drag the beef to a slough and field dress in the slough. Make sure to get as much grass, weeds, cattails, and debris into the carcass as possible.
No. 6: Drag the beef at least a half mile across a summer fallow field to get plenty of dirt mixed into the wound and the carcass interior.
No. 7: Load the beef onto a car or truck and drive down a gravel road for at least five miles, then down a highway. This will get as much highway grit, bugs and rocks embedded into the meat as possible (for extra flavor, do this in the rain.)
No. 8: Hang the beef in the garage making sure it is low enough so the dog can chew on the hind quarter.
No. 9: At least once a day be sure to idle a vehicle for five minutes in the garage. Carbon monoxide adds greatly to the flavor.
No. 10: When the carcass smells so bad you can hardly stand being in the garage, the beef is ready to cut and wrap.
Properly followed, the above steps will ensure that your beef is mistaken for venison by even the most avid sportsman. Everyone will marvel at how much venison you have and how good it tastes and you won’t have to put on that crazy outfit and walk for 30 miles.
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