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The One Man Thrill Ride is the Greatest WWE Character that isn't even in the WWE

by Jon Henseler

I mean the fact that the One Man Thrill Ride isn't on Monday Night Raw yet is astounding to say the least. Maybe this is just a promo video like they used to do back in the old WWF days? They'd have a character do some vignettes for a few weeks before they actually appeared on TV? Gotta be right? Because if this guy isn't on Vinne Mac's payroll by the EOB today it is a severe misplay on each side. I know we type in a lot of hyperbole on this blog but I'm not joking even a little when I say that this video was a TEN. Love this bro's attitude too. He'd be a no brainer pick to lead a 2013 version of the Mean Street Posse. Call up Pete Gas and Joey Abs and tell them to dust the sweater vests off because One Man Thrill Ride is about to resurrect the most underrated heel stable of all time*! Honest to God it wouldn't shock me even a little if we found out there was a little Ric Flair blood coursing through this guy's veins. Like you gotta figure over 30+ years of stylin' and profilin' that Ric has, what, maybe 200-300 illegitimate children in the world? Somebody get Maury on the phone!

*That sentence is a pretty good example of why I may as well have been Stephen Glansburg to the girls at my high school. 

PS: If you don't think I'm ordering every bacon, egg and cheese sandwich I order for the rest of my life as a 'bacon, egg and chee, hold the chee' then you are outside of your mind.

Double PS: I've never been more certain of anything in my life than I am that the One Man Thrillride took one of those Fitchburg suckbags' girlfriends to the Wine Cellar after he hit a baseball to the moon. Mortal lock city.

Triple PS: Still the greatest wrestling promo of all time: